Bleach Porn Story: Mine

Chapter 25

Ichigo spent a few more hours practicing going into and out of his demon state. In addition to the change itself, Rukia had him do quite a bit of sonido training. As good as it felt to be able to control every part of his mind and body, the training was not without cost-Ichigo was mentally drained on top of being bone weary. Sweat poured down his shirtless body (they had long since given up the search for that elusive item of clothing) as the two of them slowly made their way from the training area back to the house.

Rukia was in much better shape since she was working in the role of drill sergeant and Ichigo was the one actually running all of the ‘drills’. She was humming a light tune while thinking back on the successes of the day…among other things. As they neared the villa, Rukia caught sight of a bright white head of her mentor and friend, Ukitake Soudaishou, and smiled with delight…until she saw his companion. Aizen Ulquiorra.

What the FUCK is he doing here? She thought furiously while trying to organize her chaotic mind. It’s too early…I’m not prepared! I’m not ready to see him and they’ve already seen us so there is no way I can hide Ichigo…SHIT! She had really been enjoying their time together and she certainly didn’t want this ruse to begin so soon. Rukia raised a shaky hand in polite greeting, knowing the sharp eyed demons could see her but thanking her lucky stars that they weren’t in hearing range yet. How in holy hell am I supposed to work this? Think. Think. THINK YOU SLOW-MINDED FOOL!

Then, all of a sudden, she knew what she had to do…even though she didn’t want to. Otousama chose me to help them for two reasons, 1) Ulquiorra wants to marry me, and 2) I am a fantastic actress. I can do this! I might as well lay the ground work for the party…then, no one will suspect my father when he finally accepts our union. I’ll let Ulquiorra know I’m interested in him and I’ll have to make it obvious that Ichigo is a slave and that he means nothing to me. Rukia felt a pang in her heart at that thought because Ichigo was everything to her, Not only will I have to fool those two men, but I’ll have to fool Ichigo as well-and it’s really going to hurt him. I have no time to explain anything and even if I did, I couldn’t! Otousama wants him to remain oblivious to all of these proceedings and I agree that it’s for the best. It’s going to hurt him but the rewards will far outweigh the cost because we have a chance to find his father! Gods! I wish I could just tell him but if he finds out then he could accidentally ruin everything. There is no way a 19 year old boy can play the mind games we’re going to have to play. I can do this. I HAVE to do this…for Ichigo.

She was definitely worried about how Ichigo would react to all of this but she really didn’t have any better options at the moment. After all, he’s still my slave so it’s not like he can leave me when I hurt him…I’ll just have to make it up to him when I can.

Ichigo stopped walking when he noticed her wave, but in his human form, he couldn’t make out who she was waving at. Before he could voice his query, Rukia stopped walking and spoke, “Ichigo, there are two very important demons down there…very powerful men and,” she took a deep breath, “I need you to act the part of my slave. I need you to be subservient and obedient in every way. I don’t want them to know that you and I are anything more than master and slave.”

Her mind worked overtime to come up with plausible excuses for why she could possibly want him to do this, “As a Kuchiki, it would be very unseemly for me to appear to have actual feelings for a slave. These men have the ear of my father and it could certainly cause me a great deal of trouble if something like this were to get back to him…oh, and I don’t want anyone to know you’re a demon-it would raise too many questions that I really don’t feel like answering. Can you do this for me?” Rukia placed her hand on his chest in silent supplication and let out the breath she’d been holding. She slanted her eyes at him to gauge the effect her words were having.

Instant hurt and confusion colored his beautiful eyes before he could cover with a crooked, sexy grin, “Of course I can, aijin…I’ve been a slave for the past five years so it shouldn’t be a problem to act like one today.” He immediately lowered his eyes and adopted the subservient mien he had when he first arrived. Rukia didn’t like that one bit, but it had to be done so she set off toward the villa with Ichigo following at a respectable distance.

When they reached the two men, Rukia took Ukitake’s outstretched hands as she greeted him, “Ukitake-sensei…I’ve missed you!”

The older man immediately enveloped her in a quick hug before answering, “I’ve missed you too, Rukia-san. It’s been much too long.”

When she was released from Ukitake’s embrace, Rukia turned to Ulquiorra and spoke warmly, “Ulquiorra-san…it’s also been much too long since we’ve seen each other.” Rukia, the consummate actress managed to blush and look away with what appeared to be a shy grin.

Ulquiorra smiled slightly as he took her hands, “Rukia-san, I am so pleased to see you today. It has been much too long since you and I have been together,” His words were so fraught with double meaning that a blind/deaf/mute could have understood their true meaning. As soon as the words left Ulquiorra’s mouth, Ichigo stiffened noticeably and tightly fisted his hands. Ulquiorra shot a quick, calculating glance at Ichigo and raised an eyebrow when noted his defensive posture, “I do hope we’re not intruding?” He said smoothly. “Who’s your friend?”

Rukia let out a quick, nervous laugh, “Of course you’re not intruding!” She waved dismissively toward Ichigo, “He’s not a friend…just a slave. This is my newest dorei, Ichigo. Please pay him no mind; he was simply accompanying me on a walk when I noticed you both at my door.” Both men smirked at her explanation. It was obvious from the various bloody wounds on Ichigo’s neck and body as well as the dried dirt and sweat, that they had been doing quite a bit more than just walking

Pretending to ignore Ichigo’s presence entirely, Rukia spoke to the men once more, “I would like to know what occasion has brought two such esteemed men to visit me. Now, which one of you will be so kind as to assuage my curiosity?”

Ukitake spoke up, “Well, Rukia darling, I haven’t seen you in a very long time and I just wanted to make sure that you would be attending the gathering I’ll be hosting next week. Regarding Ulquiorra’s presence…Aizen-soudaishou wants his son to master some of the more advanced forms of kidou and thought that I could help him reach his full potential.” His grin turned teasing, “The interesting thing is that Ulquiorra was heading home for the day until I mentioned that I was coming here for a visit…then he became quite eager to accompany me.” He gave a conspiratorial wink, “Seems a bit suspicious doesn’t it?”

Ulquiorra had the grace to look abashed, “Ukitake-sensei has forced me to play my hand so soon…I suppose it can’t be helped.” He gave a rueful smile, “Rukia-san, I would like it very much if you would attend Ukitake-sama’s gathering as my escort?”

Rukia was thrown for only a moment, This is PERFECT…he’s just given me the easiest opening! She caressed the side of his face and sent a hot look deep into his green eyes, “I would love to be your escort for the evening…thank you so much for asking.”

Ulquiorra smirked at Ichigo’s stiff, unmoving form and leaned down to seal the bargain with their lips. That was the plan, anyway.

~X~

Ichigo was trying to be the submissive she wanted him to be, but it was so much harder to do that after experiencing what freedom felt like. As he observed Rukia interacting with those men, he did his best to keep the beast contained..
.even though every instinct he had was telling him to rip those fuckers to pieces for touching her. Then, to see her play coy with the black-haired fuckwit…well, it hurt, but he was working past it-trying to calm his ass down. He thought he was actually doing a rather admirable job of controlling those base urges until that slimy little fucker implied that they had been together…biblically. He nearly lost it. He wanted to lose it, but he didn’t. Rukia wanted him to be a slave and he was doing his damnedest to be what she needed-He didn’t want to shame her.

Ichigo happened to glance at Rukia’s face just in time to catch her smoldering look…for someone that wasn’t him, which was un-fucking-acceptable! That almost did it…that almost made him lose it, but he caught himself in time. Head down, eyes down, don’t speak, don’t move. Simple. He could do it…he’d done it for years! He told himself over and over that slaves had no right to feel jealousy. Just before he looked away entirely though, he saw that green-eyed, soon-to-be dead man move to kiss Rukia. That was all he needed…he went from zero to beyond pissed off in 0.5 seconds flat. One minute he was standing three feet away and the next, Ulquiorra was shoved back and Ichigo was between him and Rukia, radiating killing intent. Ichigo’s eyes were filled with barely suppressed rage as he growled, “Do not touch her…she doesn’t want you near her and she most certainly doesn’t want your fucking lips on her!” His words and actions were met with shocked silence. Rukia was the first to recover her wits. She was horrified that he went this far, but was so glad he hadn’t reverted to his demon form. She certainly didn’t want to try and explain that right now.

Rukia knew how Ulquiorra treated his slaves and she knew that he would expect her to punish Ichigo for the affront to his exalted self. There was nothing in her that wanted to punish him-actually, she agreed whole-heartedly…she didn’t want Ulquiorra’s lips on her. In spite of her distaste for it, Rukia knew she had no choice. If she wanted this charade to work, she would have to make him pay for disrespecting the little prick. She did her best to shove down her feelings and behave as indifferently as she would have with any slave who dared such a thing.

“Ichigo!” She pulled him around quickly to face her and back-handed him hard across his right cheek. “Exactly what do you think you’re doing?” she coldly asked.

He met her angry gaze with defiant eyes, “He was about to put his filthy lips on you, nushi…I couldn’t allow that.”

Rukia closed her eyes, Why couldn’t you have at least been contrite, my love? This was it; this was where she had to hurt him. Rukia opened her eyes and shut off her emotions completely, “On your knees, slave,” She said dispassionately. When Ichigo just stared back at her in confusion, she slapped him even harder on the other cheek. “I said get on your knees, whore,” She ground out angrily from behind clenched teeth.

When she struck him yet again and spoke the one word she knew would hurt him the most, something deep inside of Ichigo cracked. He was tired. He was just so damned tired. Tired of feeling. Tired of fighting…He was just too tired to fight anyone anymore. He felt hollow inside as he sank to his knees and dropped his head. “Now, put your hands behind your back,” she ordered. He moved automatically to comply with her demands, not caring what she would do to him next.

As he knelt before her, completely submissive, Rukia felt sick. Once again, she was the cause of this beautiful being’s pain and she knew she couldn’t stop there. Rukia swallowed her bile and continued her vicious assault on the man she loved with a hard kick to his stomach, “What on earth makes you think you have any right to speak to my friends like that? You are a slave…a whore. You are less than a man and nothing in comparison to Ulquiorra-sama. You will apologize to both my guests immediately!”

Ichigo gasped as she temporarily knocked the breath out of him and continued to stare blankly at the ground. He didn’t know how this could be happening to him again. They were getting along so well and he was so sure that she truly had feelings for him…but now? Now he was certain that, once again, he had misplaced his trust. When will I fucking learn my place? These women like to fuck me and pretend to love me but they never do. How could they? I am pathetic…she’s right, I’m less than a man. When he had regained his breath, he softly apologized to both men without looking up or moving, “Please, my lords, forgive my impertinence. It will not happen again.”

Ulquiorra smirked, immensely pleased with Rukia’s humiliation of the attractive male, however he wasn’t finished with him. “Rukia, darling…if you don’t mind, I’d like to leave my own impression on the boy for his rudeness.”

Rukia looked shrewdly at the powerful demon, “As long as you do not mark him permanently, then of course you may. It was you he offended, after all.” Ulquiorra nodded his assent and, hands in pockets, walked slowly over to the kneeling man. He smiled slightly before delivering a punishing kick to the side of Ichigo’s already bruised and bloody face which knocked the younger man to the ground. Ichigo never moved his hands from behind his back as he calmly drug himself back to his knees. Ulquiorra then leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I’ve had your mistress in every way imaginable and next week, I’ll have her again…over and over. There will be nothing you can do to stop it. Besides, what would she want with a slave when she could have one of the most powerful demons alive? Hmmm?” Ulquiorra patted him condescendingly on the head before running one hand through his brightly-colored locks, “However, you are quite pretty and I might be persuaded to let you join us if you’re a very good boy.” Ichigo flinched away from his hand and suggestive words which amused Ulquiorra greatly.

Rukia cringed inwardly and knew she had to get him away from Ichigo. “Ulquiorra, come over here and finish what you started,” she demanded boldly. Inside, she was sick because of what she was about to do, but Rukia did not let her revulsion show. The truth was, she’d had sex with Ulquiorra before and as unsatisfying as he was, kissing him would not be unbearable…and she had to get him away from Ichigo without raising his suspicions. She couldn’t spare Ichigo a glance as she stepped into Ulquiorra’s arms, twined herself around his body, and attacked his mouth with her own.

In spite of his best attempt at indifference, Ichigo was literally shaking with the pain that only she could cause him. She was kissing him-the man she allowed to almost break his fucking jaw and touch him-and she was kissing him. He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the image but it was already burned into his mind. Why? His mind screamed in anguish, Why is she doing this to me? Because, I’m nothing. Less than a man. Monster. Slave. Whore. Nothing.

Ukitake watched the entire scene play out disapprovingly. He didn’t agree with treating slaves like they were mindless creatures built solely for the pleasure of others…and he certainly didn’t think Rukia was like that. When he looked at the young man, bleeding and silent on his knees-obviously being tortured by the sight before him, he felt compassion well up within him and interrupted the couple’s performance, “Ahh, Rukia-san?”

Rukia finally broke out of the embrace and looked curiously at Ukitake, without showing a hint of shame. She didn’t feel out of place for her display of ‘affection’ because Ukitake saw them-after all, they were all demons and such things never bothered them. No, she was an excellent actress-that is, as long as she didn’t look at Ichigo. If she saw what this was doing to him, and then she knew she would feel cr
ippling shame. She focused on her mentor, “Yes, Ukitake-sensei…What is it?”

“Well,” he began, “I really don’t think this boy’s offence was so dire that you should punish him any further. It’s obvious that the child has developed an infatuation for you and it’s not as though he struck Ulquiorra-san…”

Rukia appeared to be considering his words when in actuality, she was sighing in relief, Thank you, Ukitake-sensei…and why didn’t I think of this sooner? “I suppose you’re right. He is very young and has had a long day and is probably just tired. Normally he is the picture of propriety.” She finally turned her attention back to her lover, “Ichigo, you may go to your room now. Ask the servants to provide you with a bath and dinner and then I’d like you to go straight to bed.”

“Hai, Kuchiki-sama,” He said quietly as he rose unsteadily to his feet and walked past the group without once raising his eyes to any of them.

As Ichigo passed by, Ukitake glanced at the tattoo on his back and shoulder, then his eyes widened in surprise. When Ichigo was nearly in the house, he spoke to the younger demons, “Excuse me, you two, I need to see about something…I’ll be back in just a moment.” Rukia and Ulquiorra excused him and told him that they’d be walking around the grounds if he needed them. Ukitake nodded walked slowly in pursuit of Ichigo.

He caught the young man just as he was beginning to ascend the staircase, “Excuse me, young man. I was wondering if I could take a closer look at the dragon on your back?”

Ichigo stopped and nodded obediently at the older demon, “Hai, Ukitake-sama.” Ukitake moved quite near to him to study the intricate design and Ichigo felt his skin crawl at having the man so close to him. Ever since that night five years ago, Ichigo has had a strong aversion to men standing behind-all the terrible memories came rushing to the forefront of his psyche. Ichigo let none of that show on his face as the man examined his tattoo, however when he actually touched it, Ichigo flinched violently away.

Ukitake removed his hand immediately, “I apologize for startling you, Ichigo. I’m just amazed that you wear this symbol…it is quite, ahhh, ancient.”

“No, please forgive me, my lord,” Ichigo replied with his head still bowed, “I wasn’t expecting you to touch me but I shouldn’t have jerked away like that…I’m sorry.”

“No harm done,” The kindly man replied softly. For some reason, he felt such sadness for this young man. He knew, without a doubt, what made this boy fear his touch, and it sickened him. He also knew that to acknowledge the obvious would only serve in shaming him; therefore Ukitake let it go, “Enjoy the rest of your day, Ichigo. Perhaps I’ll see you again at my upcoming gala, should your mistress choose to bring you along.”

Ichigo simply nodded and made his way upstairs to his…Rukia’s…room.

~X~

With Ichigo safely out of reach, Rukia breathed a sigh of relief. As she walked with Ulquiorra, she was reminded yet again of all the reasons she never wanted to marry him. He was so egotistical and self-serving that it made her physically ill, but there was no way she would show her feelings. Fate had delivered her the perfect means by which to execute her plan and she would not fail.

They walked for a few minutes while they waited for Ukitake-sama to return and most of that time was spent talking about how wonderful both Ulquiorra and his father were. When Ukitake finally showed up, she had never been happier to see anyone in her life, “There you are! I thought you’d gotten lost,” She said with a wry grin.

Ulquiorra spoke to his companions, “Ukitake-sama, Rukia…I’m so sorry, but now that you’ve agreed to attend the gala with me, I really must be getting home. Father had a few tasks for me to attend to and I wouldn’t like to disappoint him.”

Rukia was happily surprised at his announcement but feigned sadness, “Oh, that’s too bad, Ulquiorra. What time shall I expect you next week?”

“I shall collect you around dusk if that is acceptable to you, my lady?” Ulquiorra proposed solicitously.

“That sounds wonderful…I’ll see you then,” Rukia kissed him lightly on each cheek. Ulquiorra nodded at them and went along his way.

Rukia and Ukitake retired to the villa to partake of some afternoon tea. When they were settled and had dispensed with all the usual pleasantries, Ukitake went straight to the topic that had him so excited, “Rukia, do you know how your slave came by that tattoo on his back?”

Rukia was a bit taken aback by that seemingly off-the-wall question but she replied immediately, “His previous mistress commissioned it.”

“Then I am very surprised she allowed you to purchase him…I would think that woman would have wanted to keep him.”

Rukia was floored by his assessment, “How did you know that?”

“Well, that dragon is an ancient symbol that I haven’t seen for over 2000 years. It was meant to permanently mark it’s wearer as belonging one of the most ancient and noble of blood demon clans and original members of the Electi…the Shihara clan.” His pronouncement was greeted by profound silence. Rukia was well and truly shocked and she simply didn’t know what to say. “Very few of our kind are old enough to know this history because all record of them was stricken from our history books. I only know because I am one of the few who were there when it all took place.”

“When I was a young boy, the Shihara were a very powerful clan. At that time, the clans weren’t as united as they are now. I remember seeing that dragon during a fight between the Lord of the Shihara clan and another clan leader. It was in the center of the clan leader’s back and I was intrigued with its intricate design and in awe of the powerful man who wore it with such pride. When I asked my father about the symbol and the clan itself, he imparted their history to me. He told me that only the upper echelon of their clan was allowed to wear that mark. As a whole, they were few in number but only because they were highly selective regarding the inclusion of new members. The demons in that clan were either highly trained warriors, stealthy assassins, or both. They were a very secluded sect; however their leader was a strong advocate for ceasing internal struggles between the clans. As young as I was, I could not help the obsession I had with that clan. I wanted to become a member of the Shihara clan more than I wanted to breathe. My father didn’t approve because he wanted be to succeed him, but I didn’t care. I learned everything about their clan, their inclusion criteria, and their traditions in the hopes that one day, I would be strong enough to join them.”

Rukia was staring in rapt fascination as the story unfolded and when Ukitake stopped speaking, she urged him to continue. He did so with a laugh, “Soon after I began studying them, their clan just disappeared. Every single member of it was gone and I was completely boggled by it. I knew that my father had the truth and so I badgered him until he finally relented and gave me my answers. It seems that the Shihara Soudaishou was asked to make a pact with the Kinrisama. In exchange for unlimited wealth and the freedom to do as they wished, their entire clan would go into seclusion with only those two men maintaining contact. If the Kinrisama deemed any powerful demon to be a threat to the unity of the clans, the Shihara Soudaishou’s kyoushu (assassins) would step in to eradicate said threat. That was all my father knew and that was the last I heard about or saw any sign of the Shihara clan…until today.”

Rukia looked apprehensively at her mentor, “How do you know that Ichigo’s dragon is the exact same as the Shihara clan’s?”

He let out a bark of laughter, “Because I memorized it, Rukia. At night, I still dream of joining that clan…I’ve dreamt of that very mark being on me. The shape of the eyes, every sinuous curve o
f its serpentine body, the claws and teeth bared…it’s all the same. In effect, your slave has been eternally branded by the Shihara clan…and that’s phenomenal!”

Outwardly, Rukia kept her composure, but inside…she was fuming. It all makes sense now…SHIhoin Yoruichi and UraHARA Kisuke. No wonder she wasn’t scared of me…the slut is basically legendary! Eternally branded, my ass…not for long, bitch. “I’m glad you’ve told me all this, Ukitake-sensei. It provides the answers to a good many questions I’ve had about Ichigo’s previous master. Thank you for your candor.”

“Of course, Rukia,” His kind eyes turned shrewd in an instant, “I only hope that one day, you will trust me with the truth of this boy’s existence. To bear such a mark, he must be quite special indeed.”

Rukia flushed at the reminder that she was keeping something from her mentor, but she kept silent. “Well, m’dear…I must be off.” He stood and Rukia followed suit, “It was so good seeing you again and I certainly look forward to seeing you next week.”

“It was beyond wonderful seeing you today, my lord and I am very excited about your gathering.” She kissed both his cheeks and walked him to the door. “Ukitake-sama, is Neliel back from her trip?”

“She is,” He nodded with a smile. I’m so glad…I missed that girl terribly and her companion is delightfully demon-like. They’re both so entertaining.”

Rukia laughed, “That they are…I was wondering if you could invite her to come out tomorrow? There is a favor I’d like to ask of her.”

“I can do that…but,” he turned one final time, and hesitantly asked, “Rukia…would you do me a favor in return?” She nodded her assent, “Bring Ichigo to the party.”

She swallowed hard but agreed to do as he asked.

“Now, I really must get going-Kyoraku asked me to go drinking with him tonight and you know how he can get if I delay our drinking! Goodbye m’dear,” with those parting words, he was gone with the rising wind and Rukia was left feeling unhappy and highly agitated.

~X~

As soon as Ichigo stepped into the room, he closed the door and sank against it. His breaths came in harsh gasps as his dull, amber eyes stared at nothing and his strong hands fisted unconsciously in his unruly hair. Why do I do this? Why do I keep allowing myself to hope…to feel? I know the game she’s playing…I’ve played it many times. The mistress pretends to love the slave and the slave does the same-but that’s all it is. This is my fault, not hers…I knew the rules so well and still, I broke them. She never really loved me…it’s not her fault that I broke the fucking rules. This is on me…

He tried to shove his pain away-bury it deep within his soul-but it would not be banished. His thoughts were consumed by the torturous whispering of his subconscious. He saw his beautiful woman wrapped around that other man, her mouth on his, her tongue touching his…he remembered the look she sent that man and Ichigo’s mind screamed in anguish, but he remained silent. This was what he deserved…pain and torture was all he could expect for trying to be more than what he was. Whores cannot love. Slaves cannot be loved. He was both.

Therein lay his problem. He was never supposed to fall in love with her, but he did. He was never supposed to be obsessed with her, but he was. He was never supposed to be so jealous that all he could think about eviscerating some guy with his bare hands, but that need consumed him. He felt as though he was being torn apart…his rational side knew that he needed to man-up and get the hell over this but the other side of him-the part that was the darkest-told him he needed to man-up and fuck some shit up.

Knowing all of this did not stop bad thoughts and feelings from attacking him. As irrational as it was, he still felt the dark, oppressive choke-hold of jealousy. There was no doubt in Ichigo’s mind that Rukia and Ulquiorra had sex in the past. He heard the implication in the other man’s words and saw the proof as Rukia wrapped herself around him with disgusting familiarity. Now, she was down there right now with that skinny bastard and he had no idea what she was doing. Kissing him? Touching him? Fucking him? He just didn’t know and it was driving him insane. Ichigo knew he had no right to feel this way, but he could not stop the rush of hatred and rage that rose to the forefront of his mind. He no longer felt the soul-crushing despair. Instead, the only thing going through his mind was the deep-seeded need he had to go outside and rend Ulquiorra limb from limb.

Ichigo pushed away from the door and walked slowly toward the mirror Rukia had on her wall. He placed his shaking hands on either side of it and looked at his reflection-the blood, the bruises, and the emptiness in his eyes. Ichigo rested his fevered brow against the cool surface, closed his eyes, and drew in a shaky breath. When he opened them again, the image was still the same and he hated it. Slaves could hate. Whores could hate. He could still hate. He hated himself…and he hated that bastard who touched Rukia.

As he stared at himself, both hands tangled his tousled mane as he tried to ignore the devil that was threatening to rise. Can ya just imagine it, Ich-i-go? Can ya see his long, pale fingers on her perfect tits? I can see it…his tongue licking her, his mouth sucking her while those fingers dip inside of her pussy. Can you hear her moaning? Can you see her thrusting into his hand while she rubs his cock? I can see her mouth around him and then…what’s that? She’s begging him to put his dick in her…begging him to fuck her. She’s downstairs right now, on her knees, begging for him…Whatcha gonna do about it, Ich-i-go? “Shut the fuck up!” He screamed at his reflection and sent his fist flying into the offending image. The mirror practically exploded from the force of his hand-shards of it went flying everywhere. He enjoyed the feeling…welcomed the numbing of his heart that the pain provided but still, Ichigo knew he could not unleash the beast that was clawing its way free. He had his sisters to think of.

Ichigo was thankful that he and Rukia had discovered that blood could help him control his demon. He knew that without it, he would already be down there. If he let loose and did what every fiber of his being was begging him to do, he knew that Rukia would be displeased. He also knew that no amount of love on her part would stop her from punishing him. If she actually did care about that sonuva bitch, Ulquiorra-or at least cared about his opinion of her-then the punishment would be very severe. He knew that she had no compulsion about exploiting his weaknesses and, in short, his weaknesses were Karin and Yuzu. Even if she didn’t hurt them directly, she could be angry enough to kick him out and he knew of no other way to support his sisters the way they needed and deserved. He had nothing…he was nothing. This life was all he knew, so he couldn’t lose it-as pathetic as that was.

Before he met Yoruichi, pain served as Ichigo’s mental anesthetic. When the monster would get too strong in his mind, Ichigo would find the strongest opponents he could and pick fights with them. However, after he discovered the numbing effects of getting high, Ichigo would dull his brain with drugs. Right now, he didn’t have that option, so he supposed the pain would have to do.

Ichigo began to repeatedly punch the marble wall of Rukia’s bedroom. He felt skin tearing and bones breaking but that didn’t bother him-he had always healed quickly.

He didn’t dare stop…It felt so good to release some of his pent-up rage. Still, he continued to fight the beast within his soul that was screaming at him to carry his ass downstairs and gut that fucker for touching her. As good as it felt to punish his body, he knew the effects couldn’t entirely quell his raging psyche.

When he finally exhausted himself, Ichigo sto
pped punching and just stared at his bloody appendages. She wasn’t going to be happy with this damage, but he knew that couldn’t be helped. He trudged heavily to the bed and sank into its softness. He felt the small, broken slivers from the mirror digging into his skin but didn’t bother to shake them out-the more pain he was given, the better he felt. As he lay quietly on the bed, the fatigue overtaking Ichigo didn’t stop the dark thoughts from consuming him once more. He shut his eyes to try and dull the images, but they wouldn’t be denied.

Ichigo turned to his side and caught sight of a large piece of mirror on the pillow beside him. He was so tired…so fucking tired, but his mind was still working overtime. It told him how pathetic and worthless he was-less than a man…nothing compared to Ulquiorra-while simultaneously goading him to violence. Ichigo picked up the shard, closed his eyes, and held it to the pulsing artery in his neck. He pushed hard enough to pierce the skin and smiled his relief as fresh blood poured out. How easy it would be to end his suffering. No more agony, no more feeling…but he couldn’t. For the same reason he couldn’t give his demon free reign. The girls would be left to fend for themselves. As horrible and disgusting as his life was, they were the redeeming aspects of it. Without him, they would be at the mercy of the world that loved to fuck him mercilessly-and that he could never allow.

With a defeated sigh, Ichigo took the shard from his neck and instead, placed its tip at his bicep. This, he could do. This would not kill him but could dull his pain, so he cut. Every slice brought him some measure of relief and for that he was thankful. When his right bicep was carved as though he’d been attacked by an animal, he started on his left. That was when inspiration struck. He would make her happy with him.

He began carving into the delicate skin from his left shoulder, straight down to just above his inner-elbow. When he was finished, he used the sheet to wipe his blood away and admire his work. ‘Rukia’ was roughly engraved in Japanese calligraphy. It wasn’t perfect since the tool he used was quite rudimentary, but he knew she wouldn’t care. She was constantly wanting to mark him and what better way than this? She would be pleased.

The workout of the morning, the stress of the afternoon, and the copious blood loss finally took their toll on Ichigo. After he finished his ‘masterpiece’, the agony of his mind was still there but he was simply too tired to do much about it, so he did something he hadn’t done since he was a small child… he curled up on his side, pulled the sheet over his battered body, and prayed for the bad thoughts to go away as he drifted into a fitful slumber.